


Finding hers

by alluringcliche



Category: Skins
Genre: F/M, Yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-10
Updated: 2010-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alluringcliche/pseuds/alluringcliche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sid and Cassie return to Bristol post S4. Cassie tries to deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding hers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unwoundfloors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwoundfloors/gifts).



> Hi unwoundfloors! Basically what I did here is try to include all the characters/ships you requested and since you said you like Cassie I did a Cassie!POV. It's my first Yuletide so I really hope you like this!
> 
> I want to thank my beta rosamondandcats at Livejournal for patiently going over this for the many grammar mistakes as well as for the lovely encouragement!

**  
I.   
**

"Cass," says Sid, hanging up the phone, "that was Tony."

"Wow. Tony. Haven't heard from him in a bit, have you?"

"Yeah, well, he's been at uni, hasn't he. Anyway, it's Effy."

"What's Effy?"

"She's a bit of a mess. She's gone a bit mental, something about a shrink and her boyfriend. Anyway Tony needs me."

"Tony needs you? Tony _needs_ you? Where has lovely Tony been these past two fuckin' years, huh Sid?"

  
Cassie knows Sid was never really _hers_. That doesn't mean she has to like it. __

"C'mon Cass, you know how he gets with Effy, and we're best mates."

"Best mates who don't talk."

" _Cass._ C'mon, your parents have been wanting to see you as well. It'll be like a holiday."

 _Yeah, right,_  
thinks Cassie. Probably they want to show her their new art show or something. Her parents were never _hers_ either.

He kisses her.

" _Cass,_ please."

And Cassie loves Sid so she says yes. A vacation, then back to New York where he's _hers._

 **  
II.   
**

They arrive at night and Sid goes straight to Tony's. They've gotten a room at a hostel and Cassie lies in the bed staring at the ceiling. Sid fucking  
loves Tony, of course he does. Everyone fucking loves Tony Stonem.

Cassie doesn't order breakfast.

A few hours later there's a knock on the door.

"Cassie?" says a voice. "It's Jal."

Cassie drags herself up and opens the door with a false smile. "Wow. Jal. It's been a while.

"Well, I was at Tony's and, you know how it is with them. Bit tiring to be honest with you. Sid said you were here so I though I'd…"

"Wow," says Cassie again. "That's sweet of you."

Jal shrugs.

"How've things been with uni and lovely _Michelle_?"

Jal winces slightly at the way Cassie says Michelle before answering. "Fine, the music programs a bit crazy but Chelle's made sure I've had a bit of  
fun."

Cassie smiles but it's an odd smile. Jal knows she's thinking of a boy who always had fun and died too soon. Jal knows because she's thinking of him  
too. Jal always thinks of him.

"How're things with you and Sid, then?"

"Lovely," says Cassie dryly. "He's fucked off to Tony's."

" _Cass_ ," says Jal, "he loves you."

Cassie shrugs.

 ****

 **  
III.   
**

Jal gets a text. Everyone's going to the club that night. Something about trying to cheer up Effy. Jal wants Cassie to come- they'll dress up, she says  
and it will make everyone feel better. So Cassie does.

Her memories of Bristol are all music and dancing and alcohol and as she and Jal enter the bar, it all comes back. Drinking with Tony, slapping Sid,  
dancing with Michelle. It feels so fucking long since college.

Jal promises to keep Cassie company, but Michelle spots them, hips already twirling to the music. She puts out her hands, trying to pull them into the  
fray. Jal grabs on; Cassie doesn't.

"I'll join in later," she mutters lamely and Michelle and Jal disappear into the crowd.

All Cassie can see are skinny bodies, twirling, and shaking and loving each other. Not loving the fucked up ones like Cassie. She heads to the bar. She  
drinks and stares at Sid twisting his way around Tony and Effy.

"Bad night?" says a voice next to her. She looks up to see a blonde girl.

Cassie shrugs, gestures towards Sid.

"Boyfriend?" asks the girl dryly, and she already sounds quite drunk.

Cassie nods. "He _was_ anyhow."

There's a pause the two girls sit drinking silently.

"I fucked up a relationship once," says the girl "Slept with a girl and betrayed my girlfriend and then she went and killed herself. The girl, not my  
girlfriend. Anyway, he probably doesn't mean it. " She gestures towards Sid. "We're all just a bit fucked, aren't we?"

Cassie shrugs again.

"Did your girlfriend forgive you?" she asks.

The girl nods. "More so now. Fucking tragedy and all that. Brings people together."

"Tragedy?"

"Oh you know." She gestures towards Sid again. "I'm friends with Effy, I'm Naomi by the way."

"Oh wow," says Cassie. "I'm Cassie."

"Oh heard about you! Crazy chick who dates Sid!"

Cassie glowers.

"Sorry about that," says Naomi. "Bit drunk."

"I can tell," says Cassie dryly.

"So," says Naomi, "what's going on with you and dear Sid?" Her arm flails towards the boy again.

"Oh nothing. Just everybody fucking loves Tony Stonem."

"Everybody loves any Stonem," says Naomi. "Not quite safe though, look where it got Freddie."

Cassie laughs darkly.

An hour later they're drunk laughing over something ridiculous when a redhead comes running up with her phone out.

"It's my girlfriend! Emily!" slurs Naomi.

Emily tells them some bloke named Cook's woken up. At the news Naomi's face takes a look Cassie hasn't seen it wear since they met: true concern.

Cassie tries to beg off coming but Naomi drunkenly grabs her, saying she must come along.

Cassie wonders how she gets herself into these situations. What the fuck does she care about James Cook?

As they leave she sees Sid and Tony on either side of a shivering Effy and her stomach twists.

 **  
IV.   
**

James Cook greets her with a "Who the fuck are you?"

Cassie smiles, reminded for a second of another boy who didn't give a fuck.

Tony answers for her. "I'm Effy's fuckin' brother," he says, "She's my friend, as are this lot." He gestures to Sid, Michelle, and Jal.

Cook looks around the room.

"Naoms!" he says, as he spots Naomi who's huddled in the corner with Emily. "How's shit?"

"Cook!" says Naomi, a bit too loudly, "You're talking!"

"She's drunk," says Emily dryly and then adds. "She was worried about you."

Cook smiles.

"Hey Emilio!" he keeps looking 'round. "Panda-pops! And Thomas and Jay!" He says, exclaiming with delight at a few people Cassie doesn't know.

Then, finally: "Is Eff here?"

Effy steps out from behind Tony. She looks scared.

"I'll leave," she says.

"Why the fuck would you do that, princess?" says Cook.  


"You hate me don't you? You should. It's all my fucking fault."

Cook looks at her like his mind is flashing over memories.

"Shit," he says. "It's shit. But it's not your fault you had a psycho shrink , princess." He reaches out his arm towards her. "Anyway, I fucking love  
you."

Effy stares at him like she doesn't quite believe him, but she lets herself be enveloped.

Cassie wishes someone loved her like that: Cook is Effy's. She doesn't want to be part of 'Tony's friends" she wants to be "CassieandSid" taking over  
the world. She leaves.

 **  
V.   
**

Sid follows her out into the hallway.

"You ok, Cas?" he says, touching her arm.

Cassie pulls away from him, her face downcast.

"Wow. Wow. Yeah, I'm ok. Except that I fucking love you."

Cassie's voice is bitter and Sid's friendly smile immediately turns downwards.

"Why is that a problem, Cass?" Sid's voice sounds unsure and questioning.

Cassie glares at him. "You'll always love him more. No matter what I fuckin' do."

She pauses, then says matter of factly," I didn't eat today."

"I thought you were going to stop that Cass!" Sid's brow furrows; his voice loud and angry.

Cassie shrugs. "It's not like you lot care."

" _I_ care," says Sid. "How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I care?"

"Wow," says Cassie, her voice softening. "You really sound worried."

Sid hugs her, his voice sounding a bit desperate. "Because I am worried, and because I love you. Please Cass just believe me here."

"More than Tony?" asks Cassie.

"Tony's different; Tony's my best mate. You…I'm in love with you…you're _Cassie,_ you're gorgeous and you're _mine."_

And Cassie thinks maybe she does have someone who's _hers._

  


Sid and Cassie are silent for a moment, looking at each other.

Cassie hears Cook yell from the other room. "She has a fuckin' boyfriend? Aw shit she was gorgeous."

Then there's a faint slap as Effy's voice mutters, "Prat."

Cassie guesses no relationships are perfect. Maybe Sid will always love Tony best. But Sid loves her differently. She's Sid's and Sid's hers and _maybe_ that's enough. That's the last thing she thinks before he pulls her in for a kiss.


End file.
